I was searching for educational online courses, when I came across one on masturbation, so I enrolled because such skills can really cum in handy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!

Q. What did the lil pee pee say to the condom? A. I'll be right back!

Knock Knock Who's there? Willis! Willis who? Willis dick fit in your mouth?

Knock Knock Who's there? Gladiator... Gladiator who? Gladiator during the three-some.

Q. I was in Chinatown and a guy was trying to get me to eat a cat by telling me it tasted like chicken. A. I told him I was pretty sure it tasted like pussy.

Q. What did Argon do when Copper insulted him? A. Nothing. Argon had no reaction.

Q. Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo in the shower? A. The directions said, "Lather, rinse, repeat."

Q. Where does bad light end up? A. In prism.

A wife sends her software engineer husband to the store to buy some milk and eggs, so she says "Get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get six." So the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.

Q. Did you know there is a band called 1023 MB? A. They are a good band but they haven't have any gigs lately.

There are two types of people in the world... Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data -

There are 10 types of people in the world ... Those who know binary, and those who don't.

I have this new theory about inertia, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and it doesn't look like it is gaining any momentum either.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.

Q. Did you know what to do with a sick chemist? A. If you can't helium, or curium, then you'll have to barium.

If you're not part of the problem, you are part of the precipitate!

Q. What is a 72? A. 69 with three people watching.

Q. What is a 6.9? A. A good thing ruined by a period.

Q. What is the square root of 69? A. Ate something.