He says, “Shit, I can’t go home like this, my wife will kill me!”
The bartender sees this and says, "Put a $20 bill in your pocket and when she sees the puke tell her some drunk threw up on you and gave you $20 for dry cleaning.”
So the guy goes home and his wife saw the puke on his shirt and angrily asked what happened.
He replied “ this drunk guy puked on me but he gave me $20 to pay for dry cleaning.”
The guy pulled the money out of his pocket and gave it to his wife. She looked at the money and said, “Ok, but why is there $40?”
“Because he also shit in my pants.”