A man went to a pet store where he saw a parrot sitting on the perch around in his cage saying, "Buy me! Buy me!"
"Why should I buy you? What's different about you?" asked the man.
"I don't have any legs," replied the parrot.
"How do you sit on your perch?"
"I just wrap my dick around it and hold on."
Was good enough for the man, so he bought the parrot and took him home. A few weeks later the man came home from work and the parrot said, "Man, have I got a story for you!"
The man told the parrot to tell him the story, so he said, "OK, so the mailman came by today and your wife opened the door and let him in."
The man demanded, "What happened next?"
"Your wife was wearing a sexy lingerie and told the mailman to take it off her body."
The man demanded, "And what happened next?"
The parrot said, "We'll, then your wife took her bra off... and then her panties, and was standing there completely naked."
The man demanded again, "What happened next?"
The parrot said, "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."