Twelve monks were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up nude while a nude nun danced before them. Each monk had a small bell attached to his penis, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of purity. The nude nun danced before the first monk candidate, with no reaction. She danced in front of the second monk and also didn't get a reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the monks, until she got to the last monk. As she danced in front of him, his bell rang so loudly it fell off and clattered to the ground. Embarrassed, he bent down to pick up the bell, and all the other bells started ringing.

A shit-talking son of a bitch.

In Sweden they have a word for crying when masterbating. It's called "gråtrunka". The fact that they actually have a word for that is a real tear jerker.