He doesn't have any money but still orders a drink. When it's time to pay, he asks the bar tender if he's willing to let him bet to pay for the drink. The bartender asked what the hunter wanted to bet. The hunter looked up above the bar and pointed at the animal pelts hanging there and said that blind folded, if he touched a hide he would be able to tell what animal it was and how it was killed. The bartender took him up on the bet and blindfolded the old hunter and took down a hide. The hunter felt the pelt and said, "White tailed deer...killed by bow and arrow!" The bartender is amazed and says the hunter won the bet and doesn't owe anything for his drink. The hunter wants another drink so they do the bet again. Still blindfolded, the hunter feels the next pelt and claims, "Black bear...killed with a rifle!" And he gets another drink. This goes on all night as the hunter keeps guessing correctly and gets a drink after feeling each pelt, until he is completely drunk. Finally, in a drunken stupor the old man stumbled home and crawled into bed. He woke up in the morning with a splitting headache and a black eye and asked his wife, "Honey, I know I had a few drinks last night, but I don't remember getting into a fight! What happened?" His wife replied, "No, you didn't get in a fight, I hit you in the head with the alarm clock when you crawled into bed last night, shoved your hand down my panties, and said, "Fish...killed with an axe!"

but she still insisted on having sex. What a sick fuck.

A philosophy professor stood before her class and had some items in front of her... When the class began, silently she picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. She then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. She then asked the students again if the jar was full. They again agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. Now, said the professor, I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. But then... A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full. The moral of this tale is that no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.